Salad Days

"...My salad days, / When I was green in judgment, cold in blood..."

Poem 4

Silence

It began with a silence

Silence took over our words, Like death, our collections of thoughts were timeless

I look upon the change I had with you

I remember the times we sleep a million times, but only once I remember

Every touch

Every Kiss

Every embrace

I want to forget, but you made it seem impossible

Often now, you remind me of a white glacier,

You are transparent

The reflections is soon to fade, I continue my sleep

Sleep

Sleep..

Sleep…

What is the definition of a "Best Friend"

I am still awake in the middle of the night, possibly because i do not know what to anymore and just writing this before i sleep, so i got me thinking after watching "gossip girls", what is the the definition of a best friend?Do they mean that when they fight, mock each other but ending up forgiving each other and finally moved on to the next drama?Do they still hang out with each other, spending quality time during lunch breaks and class sessions but never actually talk about their problems underneath all of that?Or is just a happy go lucky naive friendship?

I can't help to wonder can i actually call the friends i have now as best friends?Cause i really do not know the real definition of best friends, i mean sure they are all the qualities that i had stated but which one is true?I can call them close friends though, and i can say that proudly. Maybe in a friendship what i am looking for is not the amount of time you spend with each other in classes or lunch breaks, i do not think a friendship is basely judged to the amount you company a friend in school because you are just going the same way and that you spend time hanging out with them because everyone hates you. I do think a friendship is the quality of knowing each other, having them to be able to accept and see through your flaws, you imperfections and to be able to use that quality to make you know that it is a part of your self and not exploiting in for their benefit. They are those people who would know you are not okay without even you telling them that you're not "fine". But what the heck?Everyone has a different opinion right?This is just the way i perceived it, at first, on the outer surface you can see two people being best friends but in reality, they back stab each other, lie and deceive you even maybe its for your own goodness but still it hurts...Well thats i learned in Binus. I see a friendship of a quality that i still have to learn:)

Anyways i'm tired so i should sleep, night.

We are just minutes apart

I think when i find that perfect someone he or she can sums up our relationship saying something like,

I think i could have my kneels down if i hear someone said this to me

"I need you to not be perfect, because i'm not perfect. Im not rich, Im not brilliant, Im not movie star handsome. If you do not even have a single flaw, then the rest of my life i would have this uncertantity wondering why so you choose me. I choose you because of your flaws"

"It just seem so small sometimes, I spend my days thinking of trivial things, this is not the life i choose to have but sometimes i look up above and i realized with you i'm happy. I can honestly say i am happy with my life with you"

I hope the best for you

I have decide that to let go of everything, smile even though that you do not mean it. There is nothing you can do anymore to afford changing the situation but honestly i think you are a good person. I never want to take my judgement back, even if you hate me, i have liken you in ways that just knowing that this is what is best for your future, with hating me in it then i'm happy for you...Just as long you choose the right path:)

There is no right or wrong anymore, what happened cannot be undone, what's done is done. I just need to hear from someone now that "I have done what is right"