Entry 24

I hate the feeling of feeling crap about your self when you are alone or reflecting about your past actions, thinking that you can do much better. Don't you? Those little things that you wish it could have been better that makes everyone happy. Here i am, just not in the mood to talk to anyone, just talking to my blog, telling you that i feel my life has not been achieved like it is supposed to be. I really need to be focused in what i want to be in the future, but i just want to have fun and not care anymore. Is it possible to be both? To feel good about your life and yet you succeed in it? 

I'm lost

I'm lost in translation. Can anyone tell me who i am?

Dexter Morgan

I wish my life can be as enigmatic as Dexter Morgan

I loved you like nobody loved me

I've been trying to convince my self that there is nothing between. But, somehow it doesn't feel right. Why does it not feel right? Its not always so easy to tell one thing and to actually do it the things you said. I loved you, it was a great time between the past and present, i just know that there is no future for us. The times with you were something that happens only once in a life time, for that thank you and i'll always remember you. 

I am able to write this because of you

I am able to write this because of you. Even though there are hundreds or thousands of love poems out there and this may be one of them, but only you and only you can understood the meaning written behind it. Others may read and understand what it means but only you can see through this writing like nobody can. You were really my euphoria, my addiction and my drug.

What i need isn't happy endings

I thought about saying this to you many times, words seems meaningless when i'm with you. You make me feel indifferent as i used to feel like a freak. I tried to give in, tell my self that everything will be all right, but maybe happy endings isn't what i need, its to accept who i really am first before i can let anyone accept the whole me. 

Loved

When you told me that you loved me, i was happy, i was scared, i was hopeful, i was relieved, i was loved...There was just so many things i wanted to say to you, but instead i said nothing. I wanted to shout aloud, really, i loved you. 

Why do we crave for power?

I dont like the fact that society are able to affect us in such ways that it can change who you are. The fact that society alone can make us do things we have never thought we can do just scares me. By society i mean the environment that we live in, the people, the hierarchal order of human nature, social order and the need for fame. Why is it that we crave for power? I pity those who do not see them self for who they are and instead tries to be someone they are not just to fit into society. I admire those who can find their true nature. I would like to meet someone like that in my life, someone that i think worth to be with for quite some time. Don't you think so?

Entry 23

So here i am wondering what to do today and i thought it would be nice to write another entry from my blog, fresh memories and to start off my day, i thought it was rather a nice touch. The other day, i thought about the years that i've been living and there was just one question that arouses me, "am i satisfied with it?" . The answer is yes, i am satisfied with it, maybe through another perspective, some would say my life is not as interesting as others or that i don't enjoy it as much as others, but then again, its my life. As long as i feel good about it, then its all good. One way or other, i think we are all "losers" at a certain point of our lives, we feel that its not good enough that we want something better everyday. Thats the reason why people choose to say "im gonna do something different everyday for the rest of my life". To all readers out there, i know you must have been bored reading this blog, im just here to say that im sure each one of you has your own unique life, never think that it sucks cause think of those that are globally (in terms of poverty, unemployment, abuse) cause i'm pretty sure the fact that you can read this makes your life not so bad after all. Till next time!

The words i need from your mouth

3 words, 8 letters, one meaning, say it and i'm yours

My perception of mathematics

My only understanding of a universal truth is through the language of numbers

Entry 22

Wow its been such a long time since i have't really written anything as an "entry", so i decided to write one as some sort as an outpost to what i am feeling at this moment. Please, bear with me as i indulge my thoughts in this blog. I should realize by now that i will never be the people who enjoys life, those ones who spends every day of their life meeting new people, social networking and just travel you know?All the bullshit saying "live life to the fullest"..Well i say fuck it as long as we are satisfied with our choices, then all is good. Not that i would not want to do those activities, cause i do, but i just need to remind my self that i can never be those popular people. Well as a matter of fact i shouldn't really care because its just not me, whenever i did do those things, i only enjoy with when i have a special someone or a close bunch of people that i really trust. Other than that, meeting new people everyday, im just not that enthusiastic to actually do those activities. At some point of our lives, we will feel wanting to belong, but trust me and i say this from experience, that if it does not feel right at the first place, maybe us by that i mean the minorities are meant to do other things, i ain't gonna say you are going to do GREAT things, but something that satisfies to our needs. Trying to fit in? At the long run, its just not going to benefit you. At least from my experience, it didn't so much and now even i do feel like wanting to belong once in a while, i just know that i got to stick to what i believe in and that is all that matters. Hope you readers out there understood the meaning of this entry, till next time! 

Quality>Quantity

Quality>Quantity

Carousel

My favorite childhood ride...Whats yours?

My understanding of "truth"

Define the "truth" will you?....Honestly there are no "truths", its just a matter of perceptions in how we conceive reality in terms of facts and evidence. 

Happy friday!

Happy Friday everyone! Take a break from work and enjoy our 3 day weekend, you guys deserve it!

Reflection

Its almost the end of summer guys, what are you feeling right now? Regret because there are things you wish you could have done over the summer holidays? Relieve because everything you want seem to be in order and everything is just perfect? I feel both, honestly, i can't really say that ive accomplished one thing perfectly. Sometimes i wish i could go back to the beginning of summer just so that i can fix my mistakes but on the other side i am relieved where i am now. This summer, has been good to me. I hope fall will satisfy me better. 

Love is Something

I didn't see it coming,
I've been so used to running,
Love is something that,
I've never known before.

Forgive me if I'm crying,
I'm tired of denying,
Love is something that,
I've never known before.