Poem 4

Silence

It began with a silence

Silence took over our words, Like death, our collections of thoughts were timeless

I look upon the change I had with you

I remember the times we sleep a million times, but only once I remember

Every touch

Every Kiss

Every embrace

I want to forget, but you made it seem impossible

Often now, you remind me of a white glacier,

You are transparent

The reflections is soon to fade, I continue my sleep

Sleep

Sleep..

Sleep…

What is the definition of a "Best Friend"

I am still awake in the middle of the night, possibly because i do not know what to anymore and just writing this before i sleep, so i got me thinking after watching "gossip girls", what is the the definition of a best friend?Do they mean that when they fight, mock each other but ending up forgiving each other and finally moved on to the next drama?Do they still hang out with each other, spending quality time during lunch breaks and class sessions but never actually talk about their problems underneath all of that?Or is just a happy go lucky naive friendship?

I can't help to wonder can i actually call the friends i have now as best friends?Cause i really do not know the real definition of best friends, i mean sure they are all the qualities that i had stated but which one is true?I can call them close friends though, and i can say that proudly. Maybe in a friendship what i am looking for is not the amount of time you spend with each other in classes or lunch breaks, i do not think a friendship is basely judged to the amount you company a friend in school because you are just going the same way and that you spend time hanging out with them because everyone hates you. I do think a friendship is the quality of knowing each other, having them to be able to accept and see through your flaws, you imperfections and to be able to use that quality to make you know that it is a part of your self and not exploiting in for their benefit. They are those people who would know you are not okay without even you telling them that you're not "fine". But what the heck?Everyone has a different opinion right?This is just the way i perceived it, at first, on the outer surface you can see two people being best friends but in reality, they back stab each other, lie and deceive you even maybe its for your own goodness but still it hurts...Well thats i learned in Binus. I see a friendship of a quality that i still have to learn:)

Anyways i'm tired so i should sleep, night.

We are just minutes apart

I think when i find that perfect someone he or she can sums up our relationship saying something like,

I think i could have my kneels down if i hear someone said this to me

"I need you to not be perfect, because i'm not perfect. Im not rich, Im not brilliant, Im not movie star handsome. If you do not even have a single flaw, then the rest of my life i would have this uncertantity wondering why so you choose me. I choose you because of your flaws"

"It just seem so small sometimes, I spend my days thinking of trivial things, this is not the life i choose to have but sometimes i look up above and i realized with you i'm happy. I can honestly say i am happy with my life with you"

I hope the best for you

I have decide that to let go of everything, smile even though that you do not mean it. There is nothing you can do anymore to afford changing the situation but honestly i think you are a good person. I never want to take my judgement back, even if you hate me, i have liken you in ways that just knowing that this is what is best for your future, with hating me in it then i'm happy for you...Just as long you choose the right path:)

There is no right or wrong anymore, what happened cannot be undone, what's done is done. I just need to hear from someone now that "I have done what is right"

6.7 & 8.9

You know that phrase "There are just some things you better not know and just leave it behind"?

Well i guess i am in that stage where i know something that i should have not but ended up knowing it because well that i am disappointed with some people because they thought i do not have that same observant skills that they have but in fact i do so it was not that hard for me to notice the facts. In a certain of level of friendship, it was nice of them to consider my feelings and not letting know cause it might ended up hurting my feelings, but in another level of perspective i think it's a bunch of crap where they do not even thought i could handle it. In these situations, i will just be non-chalant and not care, with a little of integrity and pretend that i do not know until the rush is over. I am seriously tired of the dramas and just want that time where it was just friends. I really am tired of the deception and back-stabbing, i just really want it all to be over.

Cheese

"cheese is the subject of the life to be living in perspective of the universal opinion of that is the only true meaning of lifes true meaning.."

A good friend of mine told me that, what do you think?

Poem 3

I do not care


I always thought that love is a beautiful thing

I always thought that love is something one would sing

I always thought that love is the hope and trust bind together

One, two, three, i gave in to love, trust and hope

but before long i was slayed

Even now the wounds have healed, still there is a cut beneath my shield

The thing i most dreaded have come again

A Shadow dark within the path

Will it ever escape my truly past?

Could someone see me and see what i have done?

I have changed and still you cannot see

I thought you might be different

Where is that promise that you said you will keep?

Am i just a man that you see that you could bend?

Am i just a man that you see as a pawn to play?

Well we are in a different game

I hope you have the best in luck, but you promised

You promised

You Promised

You Promised...

As long that promised is kept, i do not care whether if you want to disintegrate

in any way, it is not my problem anymore

P.S

To any notes regarding "5.10" please do not ask me who is the reference for, because of the anonymity i want to keep at the moment, thank you

Sacrifices

If it means that we can be together again, should i even at the most possibly remote consider it again even after what i had been through with you?